Self control is sort of like being the boss of your own actions.
It’s when you choose to do what’s best for you over the long term, even if it’s not what you really want right now (Baumeister et al., 2007).
Imagine this, you have a craving and want to eat a big slice of chocolate cake, but you decide to have a healthy salad instead because you know it’s better for you.
That my friend, is self-control!
Now, there’s a popular idea about self control called the limited-resource model.
This theory says that using self-control is like using up a battery (Baumeister et al., 1994).
Every time you resist a temptation, you use a bit of your self-control energy.
If you keep using it without having a break, just like a muscle that gets tired after a workout, your self-control power gets low, and it starts to get harder to resist temptations.
But it isn’t all doom and gloom, here’s the good news: just like you can build muscle by exercising, you can get better at self control the more you practice it.
A bit like training your willpower to become stronger
However, it’s important to know that self-control can be harder for some people.
For instance, people who suffer from ADHD often find it more difficult to resist impulses than those without ADHD.
Your personality, what you’ve been through in life, and how motivated you are can all affect how good you are at controlling yourself (de Ridder et al., 2012).
Researchers have even found that people who are not so great at self control might have brains that work a bit differently compared to those who are good at it (Cohen & Lieberman, 2010).
So remember, self-control is a skill you can improve, just like learning to ride a bike or cook a new dish.
It’s all about practicing and finding ways to boost your willpower battery.
Can We Control Our Behaviour?
Controlling our behaviour is important in reaching our main long term goals and feeling happier with our lives.
The good news is that even if you’re not born with great self-control, you can definitely learn it.
Studies have shown that when you practice self-control in one particular area, you can get better at controlling urges in all areas (Baumeister et al., 2007).
For instance, one study found that people who didn’t eat sweets for two weeks got better at controlling themselves in a totally different task (Muraven, 2010).
Here are some easy, science-backed ways to boost your self control:
Improve Your Posture
Working on standing or sitting up straight might be easy or hard, depending on how you normally hold yourself.
Since self-control can run out, try to start small.
Like, maybe try keeping a good posture for just the first hour of your day.
Change How You Talk
This could mean swearing less, using full sentences, or avoiding certain words.
You could challenge yourself with something like, not saying “thing” for a whole month.
Use Your Other Hand
This one’s fun, use the hand you normally don’t use for simple stuff, like opening a bottle or brushing your teeth.
If you’re right-handed, try using your left hand (and vice versa). Do this for certain times, like from 10 am to 9 pm.
Squeeze a Handgrip
Hold onto a handgrip as long as you can.
This one’s a bit easier because you don’t need to give it that much thought.
It’s all about fighting the urge to let go when your hand starts to feel uncomfortable.
By having a go at these simple activities, you’re not just doing a task; you’re training your self-control muscles.
And just like any muscle, the more you work it out, the stronger it gets.
So, whether it’s sitting up straight or squeezing a handgrip, these little challenges can help you take charge of your behaviour and bring you closer to your goals.
Self Control Tips
On your journey to better self-control, here are some practical tips that can really help:
Stay Calm Before Making Decisions
Try to avoid making choices when you’re angry, upset, or really tired.
For example, if you’re annoyed with a friend, wait until you’re feeling more relaxed and rested to talk about it.
Spread Out Big Decisions
Making a lot of decisions all at once can wear out your self-control.
Try to space out any big decisions.
If you can, take breaks and use them to rest and recharge.
Watch Yourself More
It’s tough to take control of what you don’t notice.
So, keep a closer eye on your actions.
Regularly check your bank account to monitor spending or write down your behaviours in a journal.
This way, you’ll notice the habits you want to change and create more chances to do so.
Eat Some Fruit
Your brain needs energy from sugar to function properly.
When you’re feeling mentally drained, eating something sweet like fruit can give your brain that bit of a boost it needs to help you maintain self-control.
Steer Clear of Triggers
Avoid places, people, or things that make you want to do the stuff you’re trying to stop.
For instance, if you’re trying to give up smoking and bars make you want to smoke, make sure that going to bars stay off your agenda.
Be a Self-Control Planner
Dr. C. Nathan DeWall from the University of Kentucky advises you to list out your daily tasks and rate how much self-control each will need.
This way, you can manage your mental energy better and use it wisely throughout the day.
By following these tips, you’ll find it easier to navigate through challenges and stay on track with your self control goals.
Remember, it’s all about making smarter choices and being aware of your habits and energy levels.
To Sum It Up
Self-control is a powerful tool that touches every part of our lives.
It can influence our health, money management, learning, self-respect, and how we get along with others.
Although managing our actions to align with our values and long-term aims might not always be easy, and for some, may seem almost out of reach, it is definitely something we can get better at.
By learning and practicing self-control techniques, we can take charge of our lives and steer them in the direction we want.
References
● Baumeister, R.F., Heatherton, T.F., & Tice, D.M. (1994). Losing control: How and why people fail at self-regulation. San Diego, CA: Academic Press.
● Baumeister, R. F., Vohs, K. D., & Tice, D. M. (2007). The strength model of self-control. Current directions in psychological science, 16(6), 351-355.
● Cohen, J. R., & Lieberman, M. D. (2010). The common neural basis of exerting self-control in multiple domains.
● de Ridder, D. T. D., Lensvelt-Mulders, G., Finkenauer, C., Stok, F. M., & Baumeister, R. F. (2012). Taking Stock of Self-Control: A Meta-Analysis of How Trait Self Control Relates to a Wide Range of Behaviors. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 16(1), 76–99.
● Muraven, M. (2010). Building self-control strength: Practicing self-control leads to improved self-control performance. Journal of experimental social psychology, 46(2), 465-468.
