Understanding Self-Esteem
Self-esteem is more or less the foundation of your inner relationship with yourself, influencing just about all aspects of your life.
Because you’re reading this just now, you probably care deeply about this relationship and are maybe interested in strengthening your own self-esteem.
By the end of this article, I hope that you’ll have a clearer grasp of what self-esteem is and how you can improve yours.
What is Self-Esteem
In simple terms, self-esteem is how you see and feel about yourself.
Experts define it as your personal judgment of your own worth (Mruk, 1995).
It’s about how much you like, respect, and value who you are.
You can assess your self-esteem overall, like believing whether or not generally that you’re a good person, or in specific areas, such as thinking, “I’m really good at my job, and that makes me proud” (Rosenberg et al., 1995).
Can Self-Esteem Change?
It’s important to recognize that while self-esteem might seem stable throughout your life, it isn’t set in stone.
Research indicates that self-esteem can evolve depending on life experiences and personal growth (Orth & Robins, 2014).
So, if you’re looking to boost your self-esteem, know that it’s entirely possible.
Building self esteem involves understanding its roots and actively working towards nurturing a positive self-view.
By acknowledging both your strengths and areas for improvement, you can start to foster a healthier, more resilient self-esteem.
So What Is Low Self-Esteem?
Low self-esteem means you quite often see yourself negatively.
If you’re someone with low self-esteem, you probably don’t think very highly of yourself.
You might be tough on yourself, frequently caught in cycles of negative thoughts such as, “I’m worthless”, “I can’t do this successfully”, or “I’m not smart enough”.
These kinds of thoughts can lead to feelings of anxiety, sadness, or in a lot of cases even despair.
Your self-esteem develops throughout your life and is influenced by what you believe about yourself.
The more firmly you hold onto these negative beliefs, the more challenging it can be to escape the damaging cycle of low self-esteem.
This understanding is crucial as you consider ways of building self esteem and transforming how you view yourself.
Signs and Beliefs Linked to Low Self-Esteem
Low self-esteem is often rooted in negative beliefs that someone might have about themselves.
Here are some common thoughts that people with low self-esteem might have:
Worthlessness: “I’m worthless.”
Inadequacy: “I am not good enough.”
Pessimism: “I don’t have a bright future.”
Failure: “I fail at everything I do.”
Negative Traits: “I am boring”, “I am ugly.”
Being able to recognise these beliefs is a crucial step in the process of building self esteem.
In addition to these beliefs, there are several signs that might indicate someone has low self-esteem:
They often criticize themselves harshly.
They are very sensitive to criticism from others.
They tend to focus more on their failures than on their successes.
They may withdraw from social activities.
They generally have a pessimistic outlook on life.
Understanding these signs and beliefs can help in identifying and addressing the problem of low self-esteem.
Causes of Low Self-Esteem
Low self-esteem doesn’t just appear out of nowhere.
It’s often the result of several factors, especially from earlier stages in life.
Understanding these can be crucial in the journey of building self esteem.
Here are some known key contributors:
Early Childhood Experiences: Negative experiences like abuse, neglect, or bullying during childhood can deeply influence how a person feels about themselves.
Children who endure such hardships might believe that they are fundamentally flawed or deserved to be treated poorly.
Expectations of Others: Failing to meet other people’s expectations, such as those set by parents, can reinforce feelings of failure.
It’s crucial to recognize that these expectations might not have been reasonable or achievable in the first place.
Peer Groups: The adolescent years are filled with challenges, including the intense pressure to fit in.
During this formative time, feeling excluded or different can significantly dent one’s self-esteem.
Lack of Warmth or Love: While traumatic events are profoundly damaging, the absence of positive experiences can also affect self-esteem.
Not receiving enough affection or encouragement, particularly as a child, can lead someone to think they are not worthy of love or good enough.
By understanding these causes, individuals can begin to address and heal the sources of their low self-esteem.
Tips For Building Self Esteem
Building self esteem is a journey that involves several practical steps.
Here’s how you can strengthen your sense of self-worth:
Practice Self-Acceptance
This means embracing yourself as you are, flaws and all, and treating yourself with kindness, especially during tough times like when you make a mistake.
Practice Self-Responsibility
Taking responsibility for your actions is key. This means understanding that you’re the one making your choices, and you can’t blame others for them. You’re in control of your own life.
Practice Assertiveness
It’s important to stand up for your own needs and make them a priority. Being assertive means letting others know your needs respectfully and clearly.
Live Purposefully
Feeling aimless can contribute to low self-esteem. Setting clear goals and having a plan to achieve them helps you live a purpose-driven life, giving your day-to-day actions more meaning.
Live Consciously
Self-esteem flourishes when you stay present and focus on the now, instead of getting lost in regrets about the past or worries about the future.
Live with Integrity
Your self-esteem is also tied to how honestly you live your life. Integrity means acting consistently with your values, which leads to a genuine and fulfilling life (Branden, 1995).
By following these steps, you’ll be well on your way to building self esteem and enjoying a more positive and fulfilling life.
In Summary
If you struggle with low self-esteem, changing how you see yourself might seem tough.
However, there are some effective strategies for building self esteem that can help you start to view yourself more positively and enhance your overall quality of life.
References
● Branden, N. (1995). The six pillars of self-esteem. Bantam Doubleday.
● Mruk, C. (1995). Self-Esteem: Research, Theory, and Practice. Springer.
● Orth, U., & Robins, R. W. (2014). The development of self-esteem. Current directions in psychological science, 23(5), 381-387.
● Rosenberg, M., Schooler, C., Schoenbach, C., & Rosenberg, F. (1995). Global self-esteem and specific self-esteem: Different concepts, different outcomes. American Sociological Review, 141-156.
